When Bullying Leaves Bruises Inside by Kaysey Tan

Bullying is usually characterized by a repeated and intentional verbal, physical, and anti-social behavior that seeks to intimidate, harm, or marginalize someone perceived as smaller, weaker, or less powerful. It could be in any form such as any abusive language or physical harm. It may seem innocent and harmless in the beginning, but eventually, it won’t be.

I, too, was not spared from this.

Back in high school, I had a lot of friends, including my teachers, too. We got along very well, did things together, laughed, cried, and shared secrets with each other. I was a good child — I had good grades, was active in several organizations, and was never reprimanded for any misconduct. School was a happy place for me, until things changed.

One day, some of my schoolmates made fun of me and called me names because of scars on my legs; they kept whispering that I had leukemia. I suddenly felt cold and was unable to form words — my voice just kept getting softer. I wanted to cry, but my teacher comforted me and explained that I didn’t have to listen to what they were saying. I have never imagined myself going through so much pain and heartbreak like I did that day. And worse, I was humiliated and ridiculed for something so petty.

That day, I became like a 5-year-old again. I sought comfort from my parents, crying, complaining, and hurting for being humiliated and being made fun of. Sadly, I was part of an organization that required me to face the crowd, but because of that incident, I avoided the stage and chose to stay behind the scenes. It really affected how I interacted with others. I lost the confidence I once had and I felt insecure.

But looking at the brighter side of things, I realized who my true friends were. I was lucky to have had friends who stood by me and, eventually, helped me gain my self-confidence back. They taught me to disregard negative and hurtful comments, especially from those who don’t know anything about me, but still judged and ridiculed me.

The 2017 SCIRP journal also stated that, “Although teachers or school personnel are expected to report the bullying incidence they have witnessed personally to the committee of child protection to which the guidance counselor is a member, only few did so according to participants. In fact, there were only 9% of respondents who indicated this type of response to bullying from their teachers or class advisers. About the same number (10%) said that their teachers informed parents of children involved in the bullying incident. The remaining 3% of participants indicated that their educators have done nothing about the bullying case they have witnessed.”

It’s important for teachers and parents to be well-informed and well-educated about the signs or cues of bullying as it really affects the victim. Some short-term effects are social isolation, feelings of shame, low self-esteem, school avoidance, poor school performance, and sleep disturbances. Long-term effects are anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and difficulty establishing trusting, reciprocal friendships and relationships. Awareness of these short and long-term effects of bullying is a small step towards preventing more damaging behaviors like substance abuse, or worse, suicide attempts.

Both studies indicate that bullying — in any form — is positively correlated to problems relating to self-esteem and other psychological issues, which could lead to suicidal thoughts and attempts. It is important to not tolerate and initiate any kind of bullying-related behavior because the consequences are too severe to ignore.

So, it really doesn’t matter whether you are the bully or the bullied — both people are affected. What’s alarming is that bullying affects, not only the physical health, but also the psychological and emotional health of the person, which is way more complex to deal with than the former.

From my experience, I learned that there will always be people who belittle you, mock you, or say and do mean things to you, but at the end of the day, what’s important is what you believe in. I also realized the great importance of having family and friends around, who will comfort and listen to you in times of need. They are the ones who will constantly say “you are amazing” or “you are not what they think and say you are” — the ones who will stop you from doing something that you might regret later on.

Bullying is a serious matter; it should not be taken lightly as hundreds of lives have already been and still are being affected, shattered, and taken.

Kaysey is a bubbly, sweet, and appreciative person. She loves bags and jewelry and likes to hang out with friends to eat and drink.

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