How Vocalizing Harassment Led to One Woman Losing her Job

How does one navigate a comment like that in the workplace? And not just a workplace, but in the lab of a collaborator as a visiting scientist? To be honest, after half-turning to see what had touched her backside and then hearing a response like that, my friend, Amy, shut down. She mumbled some noncommittal response and moved on towards the next task at hand, trying to sweep it away so that she could focus on the experiment.

She had worked hard as the sole full-time lab employee at a biotech company over the previous two years. When she started, not only was she the only full-time lab member, but Amy was the token full-time female employee. Two years later, she was only one of four full-time female employees. She started with a blank template to work from, which was exciting and allowed her to be creative and innovative, but was also incredibly challenging. However, the start-up company that Amy was the lead scientist for was chronically understaffed, so her workload included a standard 60–70 hour work week (occasionally 80), short notice for required travel, and constant inconsistency with expectations, projects, and inexperienced interns. When the company moved buildings, Amy designed the new lab space from scratch, sourced the equipment, and organized the facility. She had been the only person willing to drop everything else in her life when asked to go on work travel with incredibly short notice. There were days when she was in the lab until 11 pm trying to make an unrealistic deadline imposed by management, and back at work early the next day. She believed in the mission, and while that was intact, being overworked and overwhelmed seemed like a price she was willing to pay. When the management team finally decided to hire some new lab members, Amy was ecstatic. Her new peer was going to start within a few months of her finding out the team was finally growing, and he would be taking on half of her projects.

Although Amy was the lead scientist of the team, the new scientist had been offered a higher salary than she was making after years of working at the company. This left a sour taste in her mouth with the new management team that had transitioned in recently, but she tried to focus on the work and on how to delegate tasks once the new employee started. However, she had a sinking feeling during the first meeting she had with her new peer, as he immediately dismissed her input. He wanted to discuss his future projects with various other people in the company, even though the person who knew them backwards and forwards was Amy. This seemed like an odd interaction to her, but she brushed it off and tried to focus on integrating the new team.

Amy’s first intuition about the dynamic she would have with her male colleague ended up being, unfortunately, correct. Their relationship deteriorated. He interrupted her every time she spoke, he tried to take credit for ideas or results she had developed, and he questioned every bit of guidance she provided during his training. Now, Amy was not only overworked and overwhelmed, but she was dealing with constant belittlement and disrespect. The incident in the collaborator’s lab was just the cherry on top of a huge stinking pile of sexist behaviors.

She had been on site at the collaborator’s lab twice before, working with the scientists on experimental design. The trip had taken months of planning, both experimental and logistical. This was the first trip her new colleague was going to join in on, and he would eventually take over that customer site while Amy switched to focus on the projects with another collaborator. While there, he mixed up customer samples, inaccurately described results to the collaborators, and generally made a blundering fool of himself. During the course of the trip, he made two verbal references to Amy’s body as well as some joke about how he couldn’t contact her because he didn’t have her number (they were both on the company Slack channel). The first verbal comment has been described. The second was during the course of lab work, when Amy’s colleague was walking past her as she sat at the biosafety cabinet working on sample preparation.

Again, Amy dismissed the comment because, not only was it another shock, but they were still in the lab of their collaborator’s. How inappropriate would it be for a resident scientist to walk past them while Amy was telling him off for mentioning, yet again, her backside? She could have brushed off one comment as an inappropriate lapse, but two? Not only was the second one inappropriate, but it was manipulative. It felt to her like a way of exerting control.

The above is essentially what his message came across as. He felt it was appropriate to constantly belittle a professional peer, while simultaneously vocalizing comments about her body.

After they returned to their lab, Amy brought up the incidents with her supervisor. She didn’t ask for her management team to respond towards him in any specific way, and merely requested distance from him in her workday. She provided multiple examples of what would allow her to feel comfortable at work. She offered to switch her work schedule around so that their hours were offset. Since they shared an office, she suggested switching desks. She requested more separation of projects, and there were certainly enough projects to go around.

Without addressing Amy’s actual concerns and discomfort, the CEO and her supervisor (both men) called her in and told her that she was not to discuss the incidents with anyone else at the company and that they weren’t considering any of the comments sexual harassment but rather a case of disrespectful workplace behaviors. They mentioned that the offender wanted to apologize. They expected the CEO, the supervisor, the offender, and Amy to sit down in a room so that he could do so. She had been dealing with this guy’s poor behavior for months, and now that he was called out on it, he thought he could erase it all with an apology. Amy responded by reminding them that she didn’t let her supervisor know about the struggles she had interacting with him because she needed an apology, and that she merely wanted to be able to speak without being interrupted and to complete her work without being constantly uncomfortable. She told them that an apology in such circumstances seemed contrived and disingenuous, and that what she actually would appreciate, was distance, a concern that had been seemingly set aside so that the offender could relieve his conscience.

After another wait, Amy was told that they would not allow her to switch desk spaces, and that they weren’t going to implement any other measures to create some distance, allowing Amy to feel comfortable in her work environment. She was appalled. The amount of work she had put in to help the company meant nothing. The long hours, the spur-of-the-moment flights to customer sites, and the dedication wasn’t worth creating a space for Amy to work comfortably. She was just an inconvenience to them, and she was backed into a corner. She could lose her job for trying to engage another supervisor to advocate for her, as a result of the aforementioned “don’t tell” policy.

Being told that she was not allowed to discuss any part of what had happened left Amy feeling trapped. Her experiences were being erased. Being asked to sit in a room with the offending colleague and two other men so that he could apologize left her feeling even more trapped. And being told she was expected to remain in the same office space as her offender was sickening, infuriating, and dismissive. She was heading towards a breakdown from the strain of it all, and feeling like she was left with little to no recourse, she put in her notice within a month.

How many situations such as Amy’s are left unchecked? They let her depart, possibly even encouraged that outcome with their inaction so they didn’t have to deal with it, and although they lost a phenomenal, hard-working employee, they otherwise were faced with no consequences. She didn’t have the energy to fight for her job against two male superiors or to stand up for her rights. She didn’t have an advocate or support throughout any of this. It’s difficult enough navigating a demanding job and trying to interact with colleagues such as the one Amy had without also fighting the management of a company.

How many businesses are treating their employees like her former company treated Amy? Her career is suffering because “she couldn’t handle” being treated like this. How many women are actually set back because they need to get out of such environments rather than prioritize their jobs over their well-being? For Amy, discussing sexual harassment resulted in a sequence of events that culminated in losing her job. Her experience is just another example of why women might feel unable to discuss experiences such as these, and women are actually backed into corners for doing so. Amy’s story is not an isolated one.

Note: The author had permission to share Amy’s story. Her name has been changed for privacy.

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